Liana Thinks

Urban Dictionary…. HAHAHAHAHA

Liana — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 22:49:16 +0000

“Lianas are often seen holding on to a machine gun, for they fear a zombie attack will happen at any given moment. Often can they be found in underground punk showings or Walmarts during graveyard hours.”

What to do… what to do

Liana — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 17:05:16 +0000

OK, I’ve been on the low end of the production team for a couple of films and television series. And I’m not really going anywhere. The jump from PA to AD isn’t that great and really, I’ve been spending so much time away from home (even though I currently work locally, I still have such strange hours). JP and I want to start a family and I’m starting to think that spending ridiculous hours on set or on location just isn’t worth it anymore. I’ve been offered a position in a casting office here in New York. It pays more than I currently get and the hours are actually “normal,” plus there are good benefits. And I would just research. So IF we got pregnant, it would be ideal for me. Seriously, working directly with actors just doesn’t have the same appeal to me, and being on set is becoming more of a chore than a joy.

So… do I take the certainty of the job in the casting office or do I continue on with the uncertainty of production? I think I know the answer.

Being Banned

Liana — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 21:19:18 +0000

Yes, I am banned once again from Celebitchy. And before you tell me that it’s my use of asterisks or ellipses, no. I’m actually BANNED. For what? Nothing. I did nothing to merit being banned other than state that a job that I have held – production assistant – isn’t just an internship. Yup. That’s it. That’s all I said and the great and moronic Kaiser banned me for it. And Katie, the real Celebitchy, ignored my emails. Lovely, right?

Bottom line, I was banned for actually having knowledge of Hollywood. I was banned for daring to disagree with Kaiser, who I will now dub Kaiser Wilhem (KW for short). I was probably banned for having met and conversed with Gerard Butler. I was banned for daring to state that Jennifer Garner is one of the nicest people I have ever met.

Celebitchy used to be a smart and clever gossip site. It used to be fun. People used to be allowed to have their opinions and express them, and the only thing that merited banning was:

Celebitchy aims to be a friendly, welcoming site where people can discuss entertainment stories and current events in a lighthearted, safe environment without fear of harassment, excessive negativity, or bullying. Different opinions, backgrounds, ages, and nationalities are welcome here – hatred and bigotry are not. If you make racist or bigoted remarks, comment under multiple names, or wish death on anyone you will be banned. There are no second chances if you violate one of these basic rules.

Yeah. OK. Now you go there, there’s a new depth of meanness in the posts themselves, the “head writer” bullies people, it’s rampant with excessive negativity, and different opinions are not allowed. I have noticed that some of the regular posters aren’t around anymore (Crashie appears to be banned also) and there are many comments about people being on moderation. Way to kill your site with this urge to be as petty and unimportant as LaineyGossip (another useless dingleberry on the ass of the tabblogs).

I can no longer recommend Celebitchy as THE place for smart and humorous gossip. Go there if you want to talk about dongs, hitting it, dirty sex, incorrect and unresearched information, and bangs trauma. Go to dlisted if you want smart and humorous. And hey, follow me on twitter if you want, or friend me on facebook. I’m done caring about Celebitchy and this is probably my last blog or tweet about it unless someone asks me. Life’s too short to give a shit about bitches.

Oh my

Liana — Tue, 31 May 2011 23:31:07 +0000

I’ve let my blog lapse BIG TIME. I’ll get to thinking and get to posting. I actually have some ideas that I have to kick about.

2011 Academy Awards

Liana — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 04:42:48 +0000

Hanging out with a couple of friends and my computer, watching the Oscars. Overall, the tone of the show is a little… underwhelming. James Franco seems like he’s a little on the stoned side and is phoning it in, although in his mind, he’s actually phoning in for a pizza delivery. Anne Hathaway is trying but is coming off as shrill and “lookatmemom!” When Billy Crystal came out, he kind of schooled the young uns.

Fashionwise, Jennifer Lawrence was simple and stunning. My best dressed. Nicole Kidman, while not worst dressed (that would be Colleen Atwood), was not my favorite.

Now on to the winners:

Art Direction and Cinematography: my favorite awards because of my love for film. Alice in Wonderland for the former, Inception for the latter. Both incredibly deserved. The intricacies of both of these films was apparent.
Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo. Meh. I don’t know why she bugs me, but she does. And really, because you portrayed a kind of trashy character doesn’t mean you have to actually BE trashy and drop the f-bomb. I mean, come on, at fifty years of age, you should at least have some sense of propriety (not that I’m a bastion of propriety by a long shot.) I wanted Helena Bonham Carter for her nuanced performance in The King’s Speech. But as my friend Lynne says: I also want a pony, do you see one here?
Animated Short Film: The Lost Thing. I actually didn’t see this, which is unusual. I usually see most of the shorts and documentaries.
Animated Feature: Toy Story 3. Blah. I would have loved to have seen The Illusionist take home the award. But instead, the commercial dreck wins.
Adapted Screenplay: The Social Network. God, I’m sorry, but I really didn’t like this film, and I like Aaron Sorkin even less. I was hoping for Winter’s Bone. But I’m looking around and still, no pony.
Original Screenplay: The King’s Speech. Wow, finally I am pleased with something. Any one of the nominated screenplays would have been more than acceptable and more than deserving, but I have a real soft spot for this film.
Foreign Language Film: In a Better World. I actually saw this and it was quite deserving. Loved the presentation by Helen Mirren and Russell Brand.
Supporting Actor: Christian Bale. Very deserved win. Lovely speech. I would have been happy with any of these fine actors winning, but Christian Bale’s transformation into Dickey Ecklund was amazing. The tweaks and twitches, the body transformation… Well done.
Original Score: Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for The Social Network. The score was the best part of the film, so the win was well deserved. But damn, Trent. You’re looking like the minivan majority spokesman these days. I guess we all have to grow up some time, though. If, on the off-chance you read this, sorry dude. I still love you and you’re still welcome to crash at our place.
Sound Mixing and Sound Editing: Inception for both. Well deserved. That’s really all I can say.
Makeup: The Wolfman. Like Cate Blanchett said “that’s gross.” And in being so realistically gross, it proves the win.
Costume Design: Alice in Wonderland (Colleen Atwood). The costumes were amazing in this film more than any other nominated film. Well done. And Colleen designed Helena Bonham Carter’s dress for the Oscars.
Documentary Short: Strangers No More. Again, I missed this film, so I can’t comment.
Live Action Short: God of Love. Congrats to Luke Matheny. I saw this at a panel at my alma mater, NYU/Tisch Maurice (Kanbar Institute of Film and Television). I was pulling for this and am SO glad it won. And Luke, no need for a haircut, you look great.
Documentary Feature: Inside Job. Good thought provoking film. Good win.
Visual Effects: Inception. I would have been shocked had this NOT won. The effects in this film were amazing. Honestly, the script was a little weak, but the film was made wonderful by the visual effects.
Film Editing: The Social Network. Hmmm, I would have expected The Black Swan. I thought the editing was simply more deft and better done in the Black Swan. But OK.
Original Song: We Belong Together from Toy Story 3. Ugh. Randy Newman. Blech. Toy Story, double blech. But nothing else was really any better. And Gwyneth dawg… you wuz pitchy.
Directing: Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech. This category was truly anyone’s game. And the winner was Hooper. He did an awesome job with The King’s Speech. And his acceptance speech was good. Yes, always listen to your mother. Tom Hooper just always comes off as a lovely man.
Leading Actress: Natalie Portman, The Black Swan. Not sure how I feel about this win. Watching the other clips, I think there were more deserving actors. I think Jennifer Lawrence should be up there right now. Not that Natalie was bad and is undeserving, she was good. Very good. But I think there was a better choice. But thanks so much for thanking crew members. That was classy. And I mean that.
Leading Actor: Colin Firth, The King’s Speech. I adore this man. He has been this quiet presence that propels so many films to quiet greatness. Now it’s his turn to shine. His Bertie was a flawed man thrust into a role he neither wanted nor needed, but rose to the occasion. And I was riveted to the screen for all three of the times I saw this film.
Best Picture: The King’s Speech. I loved this film. Simply loved it. With the exception of that damned Toy Story 3, all the films were excellent. But TKS just resonated with me in a way none of the others did. Congratulations.

Overall, this year’s Oscars were really uneventful and underwhelming. But hell, they ended close to on time. Thanks to Laura (the hostess with the mostess) Allison, Lynne, Annie, and Amy for helping me blog this.

Oh Come On Grammys

Liana — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 12:27:46 +0000

Yeah, you did good remembering Dio and Alex Chilton, but you left off Pete. Just because Type O wasn’t “mainstream” doesn’t mean Peter Steele wasn’t influential.

Golden Globes… stream of consciousness

Liana — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 00:48:39 +0000

OK… starting a bit before the Globes start. This will just be me rambling throughout the awards. I’ll publish during the commercials and edit and all that crap. Deal with it. No one’s reading anyway.

Looking for dad… will not see his ass anywhere near the red carpet. I imagine him being all Mission Impossible and hiding behind potted plants. He’s not famous enough to be shown anyway.

Giuliana is scary skinny. Ugh.

For the record, I find Ashton Kutcher smarmy and aggravating and not the least bit attractive. Natalie, girl, I know we’ve had our ups and downs (OK, you’ve been a snot and I’ve not liked it) but you look damned good in the “No Strings Attached” trailer and I hope you have an eventless pregnancy and a fantastic marriage.

Oh, Christina Aguilera… no. just no. One shouldn’t ever want to look like a giant sex toy.

DO. NOT. LIKE the shoulders on Anne Hathaway’s dress. Gah. Jennifer Lopez. Meh. Love Scarlett’s dress… HATE her Bride of Frankenstein hair.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

I’m baaaaaack.

Johnny Depp… the great unwashed, yet still sexy. Damn it. Just found out January Jones is going to be playing Emma Frost in the next X-Men movie. Yuck. She’s annoying me and I want to smack her. Ooooh, Tilda! Love her. And Christian Bale smiling and not being a douche. LOVE Olivia Wilde’s dress. Just LOVE it.

Back at the telecast. I think I liked Ricky Gervais better when he was a bit plump. Ricky better watch out with the “Tourist” jokes. Zahara’s gonna bitch shank him in the parking lot. And Leah Remini and Jenna Elfman are waiting by his limo after the scientologist joke to avenge Tommy and John.

Best supporting actor in a motion picture: Christian Bale. OK, I’m finding the long hair hot. But then again, look at the hair I married. It always makes me do a double take when he speaks, he’s done so many different flawless accents. Wow, he’s not a douche tonight. You go Christian.

Actress TV Series, Drama: WOW! Katey Sagal. This is a BIG yay! JP loves Sons of Anarchy and Katey is awesome in it. I think that was largely unexpected but well deserved.

Best Mini Series or TV Movie: Carlos. Didn’t see it. Oh well, was hoping for Temple Grandin. Can I just say that I hate Julianne Moore’s dress. It makes her look shapeless.

Took a pee break. Asked JP if I missed anything. He said “just lots of ‘thank yous’.” Thanks babe.

Bruce Willis looks good. God, I loved Red. Probably because of Helen Mirren. I would love her in anything.

Best Supporting Actor in some TV shit: Nuts. I wanted David Strathairn. Poo. Oh Christ on a bike, Lea Michele, it’s not about you, stop looking like you birthed the kid. Good speech, Chris Colfer.

Damn Michelle Pfeiffer. Stop looking so good, bitch. Alice in Wonderland. Loved it, because of Helena Bonham Carter. I would love her in anything. Meh, the president crap with Eva Longoria. Whatever. Should have taken my pee break now.

Best Actor – TV series Drama: Kind of hoping for Steve Buscemi. YAY!!! Go me… go me… Doing the Buscemi dance around the living room. After 9/11, the man will ALWAYS have my heart. Always.

TV Series Drama: So over Dexter. Like The Good Wife and Boardwalk Empire… actually like everything but Dexter. Boardwalk Empire. Good choice.

Andrew Garfield – it’s OK. I lose control of words all the time. The Social Network… not all the fond of that film. But I like David Fincher.

ORIGINAL SONG – MOTION PICTURE: Don’t give a fart about any of these. It was some pap by Diane Warren from that crappy Burlesque movie. OK. The shoutout to Ronni Chasen was good. RIP Ronni.

ORIGINAL SCORE: I care more about this than song. Wouldn’t mind seeing Trent Reznor win even though he’s a prick. Oh man, cool. Didn’t expect that. I’m still so sad that he’s what and who he is now, but that score was amazing. JP just looked at the screen and said “damn Trent, you’re kind of turning into someone’s dad aren’t you? Please tell me there’s no mini van involved in your life.”

Justin Beiber/Bieber, whatever. Annoying hair, dude(tte). He’s wearing more makeup than I usually do.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM: I kinda liked Tangled. Hated Toy Story 3. Damn it. Yeah yeah, shut up. Where’s that sad music?

God, I love Robert Downey Jr. Just LOVE him. And Emma Stone… awesome. Angelina Jolie looks gorgeous.

BEST ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE COMEDY OR MUSICAL: Come on Julianne! OK. Annette Bening. I can deal. She was wonderful. Hate her hair, though. I love her speech.

guest blogging for a bit, me, JP. Liana’s on the phone. I’m sure she’ll fix my typos.

Sylvester Stallone looks like a pug. One of the ugly pugs. The ones that smell bad. The Fighter was a decent flick, though.

ACTOR MINI-SERIES OR TV MOVIE: I’m scared of Tilda Swinton. She could kick my ass. Al Pacino won for something I didn’t see. Liana said she didn’t see it either. Is Tilda Swinton like 8 feet tall or something? Liana will be back for the next award. And to fix my typos and grammar mistakes. JP out and back to the couch.

Awww, you didn’t do too badly, my dear. Thanks. I was on the phone with my sister Maria. And Pacino won for You Don’t Know Jack.

ACTRESS IN THE SAME THING: Hoping for either Claire Danes or Judi Dench. Yay. Claire Danes. She bugs me, but her role was amazing and she did an awesome job. My sister’s autistic and this work showed how capable the autistic population can be. Don’t ever underestimate anyone.

BEST SCREENPLAY: Come on King’s Speech. I just don’t like Aaron Sorkin. And damn. Damn. Damn. Aaron Sorkin is a weenie. Oh well, The Social Network. Meh.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN TV SHIT: Come on Jane Lynch. YAY! Take THAT Ed O’Neill. Yes, it’s personal. I worked with Jane Lynch and simply love her. She’s a wonderful woman. Surprised Lea Michelle isn’t clasping her chest and acting like she birthed Jane, too. Oh wait, she did and was. I hope that comment Jane made was about Lea.

BEST FOREGN LANGUAGE FILM: In a Better World. OK. Only saw The Edge. So can’t comment.

My Helen! I love her. Love her. Love her. The King’s Speech. Damn it, I loved this movie so much I want to live alone in a room with it.

BEST ACTRESS TV SERIES COMEDY/MUSICAL: Lea Michele better not win. Phew. Laura Linney. I love her, too. Damn, Lea, everyone’s winning but you. And were there some boos or was that wishful thinking? … and Lea attacks the Ernst and Young guys demanding a recount.

Hanoi Jane in a Barbarella dress. And why the hell is Burlesque nominated? The movie sucked.

ACTOR TV SERIES COMEDY/MUSICAL: I would love to see Matthew Morrison win just to piss off Lea. But Jim Parsons is so good and so deserving. Yay! I actually loved Kaley Cuoco’s reaction. It was so real and so sweet.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS MOTION PICTURE: Wide open field here. Anyone is deserving. Melissa Leo… OK, the least deserving of the deserving. OK, I did like her reaction. Helena Bonham Carter looks like “OK., shut up now.”

Cecil B. DeMille Award to Robert DeNiro. Matt Damon is pretty funny. OK, that’s done. Now more commercials and then more awards.

Yes, I’ve noticed my caps/no caps thing. I don’t care. No one reads this shit anyway.

BEST DIRECTOR: MOTION PICTURE: David Fincher. I’m OK with this. I didn’t really like The Social Network, but I thought it was really well directed. I would have been happy with pretty much anyone nominated as they all did a remarkable job with their films.

BEST TELEVISION SERIES COMEDY OR MUSICAL: Glee. Ugh. I would have loved Nurse Jackie since I’ve worked on that show, but I think it was really nominated in the wrong category. It’s not really a comedy. Surprised Lea Michelle isn’t front and center crying. Oh wait, she is trying to get her face right up front, isn’t she? Cow.

Ugh, Alicia Keys. Why the hell is SHE there? Go away.

ACTOR IN MOTION PICTURE COMEDY/MUSICAL: Ugh. Paul Giamatti. There’s something about him I really don’t like. I feel like he plays the same basic character over and over again, just different permutations on a theme.

ACTRESS MOTION PICTURE DRAMA: Natalie Portman. She deserved it. And wow – she’s OK, more humble than I’ve ever seen her and a little goofy… and yeah, we know Ben slept with you.

BEST MOTION PICTURE COMEDY OR MUSICAL: The Kids Are All Right. This was a deserving film. Lovely and sweet and funny and touching.

God, I hate Guy Fieri. He’s an over aged, over sized, useless college frat guy with bad fashion sense.

ACTOR MOTION PICTURE DRAMA: Come on Colin. I will cry if you don’t win. Thank God I don’t have to cry. My beloved Colin won. I adore that man. Some day I will work on a set with him. Some day. Love the mid-life quip. What a lovely tribute his his beautiful wife. There’s nothing sexier than a man in love with his wife.

Michael Douglas presents the final award of the evening. He really looks great considering what he went through…

BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA: Fuck a duck. The stupid Social Network. Sorry, I just really didn’t care for that film. I don’t think it came close to the brilliance of The King’s Speech or The Fighter.

Overall: Ricky Gervais was OK. Nothing stellar. Not happy with the Best Motion Picture – Drama or Comedy Actor. Pleased Lea Michelle didn’t win. Pleased Jane Lynch won and Sofia Vergara didn’t. Next come the SAGs, then the Oscars.

And hey, didn’t see my dad at all. Way to hide behind the potted plants, dad.

Help me, I’m being oppressed!

Liana — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 02:33:44 +0000

Nah, not really. I just haven’t been able to post anything on Celebitchy all evening. All my posts disappear into the ether, never to been seen again. Now I have the sads.

edited 1/9/11: Still can’t post on Celebitchy. I don’t understand why. I’ve never broken any of the rules there.

Christmas shopping sucks

Liana — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 03:48:08 +0000

Went Christmas shopping with my friend Lisa tonight. Hated every blasted moment of it. Nothing makes you realize the inhumanity of man towards man more than the Ikea Marketplace. Pushing, shoving, grabbing stupid candles out of my hand (yes, someone actually took a candle out of my hand because they “needed that color and it’s the only one left.” Bite me. And since when did self service checkout mean that no one has to work anymore? I couldn’t find a human drone worker there to save my life. Also went to King’s Plaza. Rude salespeople, lack of stock, annoying fellow shoppers, and no, I don’t want to give you a happy ending, security guard. I think I’ll hit Staten Island over the weekend and call it a season.

First married Thanksgiving

Liana — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 15:34:03 +0000

… and we were thousands of miles apart. I know JP’s a musician and I know that he pretty much has to take whatever work he can get, but I am angry and disappointed that we are spending this time apart so early in our marriage. I won’t see him until right before Christmas. And on top of it, this little groupie bitch emailed me to say that JP was cheating on me. With her. I know that’s a lie, but it sucks that I even have to be brought into someone else’s wishful thinking and psychotic behavior. And yes, Rae, I know that you’re nowhere near where my husband is. I know you’re in Baltimore. My husband is not so well endowed that he can cheat on me with you from thousands of miles away.

Sorry if I sound whiny, but I’m having a bad couple of days. I’m going skeet shooting with my dad later. If anything can make me feel better, it’s my dad and shooting at shit.

update: went skeet shooting. shot like crap, dad gave me advice and since he was holding a gun, I think I’ll follow it.